“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” – Charles Dickens
I still remember Jun telling me he was never going to cry during the wedding. I remember it clearly. We were at Panera Bread, having dinner, talking over last minute details before their wedding day. In his mind there was no doubt that he was going to cry. Why would he? He is a man. And a man never cries. Fast forward to the wedding day. There he was, standing in front of the woman he is about to marry. In the middle of expressing his gratitude, he paused. Overwhelmed with emotion, he struggled trying to get the rest of his speech out. There was no point in wiping it or pretending that it never happened. So he just let the tears fall. It’s the best way and the only way his heart knows how to show his love and gratitude to Celine.
Have you ever had that lump in your throat the moment you felt you need to cry? I read somewhere that crying due to emotions are perceived by our automatic nervous system as stress. So there are a few changes that our bodies go through during these times of “stress”. First, to let more oxygen to our lungs for our muscles to use, our throat muscles will have to expand. But sometimes we, as in men, tend to “swallow our emotions”, and that swallowing action will cause the same throat muscles to close. And that “lump in your throat” expression is actually the throat muscles trying to let more air in while our natural tendency to swallow, will try to force the throat muscles to close. So in layman’s term, that lump in the throat sensation or that pain in your throat feeling when your about to cry is just due to two different muscle action fighting against one another. It’s just science, bitches. Science.
Hey nothing wrong with a man crying. I, for one cried on my wedding day when I saw Cristina walk down the aisle. Even though I tell people it was sand that just got in my eye. I am not ashamed of it. Not one bit. Look at it this way: the person you are about to marry is standing in front of you, in a beautiful, white gown, ready to spend the rest of her life with you. She knows all of your flaws and imperfections. And when she could have ended up with someone more successful and with more riches than you, in the end, the stars aligned at the right moment and she chose you. Consider yourself the luckiest person in the world. And if that’s not enough reason to shed tears of joy for, I don’t know what will.